We all have read books about toxic people, how to avoid them and how they can affect our relationships. However, little is said about good people, which is what Xavier Guix does in this psychology manual: El problema de ser demasiado bueno (The Problem of Being Too Kind).
Many people confuse being a good person with not being oneself, not generating any conflict, not disobeying or always fulfilling others’ expectations. For this reason, I believe that Xavier Guix’s new book is not only innovative, but also useful: given that the world is full of good people, but they learn to be so good and obedient, so perfect and ideal, that they suffer horrors when they do not achieve it. We still behave as innocent good children, even though we are already grown-ups. Their biggest worry is that they feel unable to stop being good, to disobey or to generate conflicts. They are overwhelmed by not meeting other people’s expectations and become anxious due to fear of being rejected. These people practice “bad kindness”, a series of behaviors based on obedience and well behavior caused by a deep fear of the disapproval of others.
In this book, Xavier Guix provides us with a priceless behavioural guide. He dissects “bad kindness”, its origin and consequences. He also highlights the importance of healing our wounds, and guides us to change with concrete guidelines to leave it behind in our daily lives.
I think this book is essential because most of us consider ourselves to be good people, but we don’t analyse whether this is actually harming for us. How we can manage it and detect it is essential for us to be able to face life in a better way.
